Galbatorix Interview
by kwapikwapisz
Summary: haha This is the second part of our Murtagh interview :  Did this with the awesome Maddogpony :D


Kwapi: Okay, so who do we have next Maddog?

Maddog: *looks at schedule* Um, King Galbatorix.

Kwapi: I thought we had Eragon next?

Maddog: *nods* We did, but he is still unconscious. I told you not to hit him so hard! He is so delicate

Kwapi: *shrugs* Details, details. But moving on…. You got the pepper spray and the straight jackets?

Maddog: Yup. I can't believe we had to buy a new chair! Murtagh ran off with the last one! It was a nice chair too

Kwapi: Ikr. Some people have no appreciation for all the trouble we go through!

Maddog: But anyway, lets get going! All right everybody next we have the terrible, the feared, the lunatic, the dragon stealing KING GALBATORIX! *Girls glare at man who is dragged onto stage*

Kwapi: Alright me first bozo, WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN MURAGH

PRISONER? *Holds out pepper spray at the ready*

Maddog: *hands on hips* Yeah! Why?

Galby: Who are you? Where am I?

Kwapi: That's beside the point! Answer me!

Galby: Because I dislike everyone, and wanted to make his life miserable! Mawhahahaha

Maddog: Why you . . .! *leaps onto king and starts to attack*

Kwapi: Maddog! We. Have. Talked. About. This! *struggles to pull Maddog off paralyzed king* Remember what happened when you did that Saruman and he . . .?

Maddog: *shivers* Oh yeah . . . . . . . . *mildly takes seat* But really, other than the Murtagh thing, I really have no problem with you. I'm totally for anyone who can take down the Varden.

Kwapi: *shakes head* Okay, lets get to the important things like . . . Did you know that in the 'Eragon' movie you are bald?

Maddog: *mumbles* And had girls' nails.

Galby: O.o WHAT!

Maddog: Bald: You know, no hair, hairless, without hair . . .

Galby: I know what bald means peasants! How could they do that to me? Nowhere in those the mind numbing books does it mention hair loss!

Kwapi: *ignores him* You're right about the nails, maddog. *giggles*

Maddog: I'm really not sure why you were in the movie at all

Kwapi: You make a good point. And I seriously doubt Shruikan hides behind a map all day.

Galby: *eye twitch* I am a main character and the only reason for your precious Eragon. Of course I am in the movie!

Maddog: It's just that you're not seen in the 1st book. Nor the 2nd. And the 3rd doesn't count. If you were that important, Paolini would have given you some face time, Galby. What if Christopher wanted to make you 8 feet tall with hair down to your knees?

Kwapi: I WIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, I WIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

Galby: SHUT UP! My hair isn't to my knees! And don't call me Galby!

Kwapi: Of course not. We are only speaking hypothetically.

Maddog: Precisely! Now, how easy was it to take down the dragon riders?

Galby: Relatively easy actually. Everyone was too lazy and stupid to stop us. Either that or the threats I posted weren't taken seriously. And stealing the dragon was a piece of cake! I literally just walked into the city. Those people had no sense of security!

Kwapi: That sounds -

Galby: Wait a minute! *looks at Maddie* You're name is Maddog?

Maddog: Ah, yeah?

Galby: So you two are the reason Murtagh has been huddled into a ball for two weeks, crying? *And* has become a emotional eater – gained at least 20 pounds. *And* now has a irrational fear of 'hugs?' He has COMPLETELY lost it! *tries to stand up in rage* What I am supposed to do with an emotionally traumatized rider? I have to find a new dragon rider before the next book comes out or I'm screwed!

Maddog: Hey, if you don't want him, we'll take him *evil grin*

Galby: *eye twitch* You're missing the point. He completely insane.

Kwapi: Don't be so melodramatic. All he needs is a good rest –

Maddog: *Interrupts* And more hugs.

Kwapi: Exactly. I'm not seeing the big deal; you are on the crazy side too Galbatorix. Why don't you get off your butt and capture Eragon yourself?

Galby: *blank* Me. Do. Work?

Maddog: Oh I'm sorry; We forgot you were retired.

Galby: I'm not retired! I believe that after conquering the world, a person needs some me time.

Kwapi: Dude, its been like 100 years. How much 'me time' do you need?

Galby: You two have no idea who stressful it is running a kingdom! I have to pay the army, stop revolts, find enough food for that idiot dragon of mine, make up plans that will never work, give inspiring speeches, AND figure out what I'm going to eat every morning. Its all too much! I don't have time to go capture Eragon.

Maddog: So you send others to do it?

Galby: Exactly.

Kwapi: But they always fail.

Galby: …. Yes.

Maddog: So if you did it yourself you could get back to your kingdom running?

Galby: That is a possibility.

Kwapi: Soooo? Why don't you do it then?

Maddog: Let's just face it; you're lazy Galby!

Galby: I am not!

Maddog: Are too! If you weren't would you sit around eating truffles all day?

Kwapi: Talk about a emotional eater *nudge*

Galby: HOW DO YOU TWO KNOW THAT?

Maddog: We have our connections

*Suddenly a loud commotion starts out from off stage. Girls look at each other as an angry Morzan storms onto stage*

Kwapi: Uh, what are YOU doing here? We didn't have in the schedule!

Maddog: Honestly!

Morzan: Silence mortal! I will command you to do so! *raises hand pointing it at girls*

Kwapi: Are you trying to intimidate us?

Maddie: *yawn* We don't get paid enough for this.

Kwapi: We don't get paid at all!

Maddie: Right, I'll be talking to the manger about that.

Galby: This is *my* interview! What the heck are you doing here?

Morzan: I felt left out! Everyone else got kidnapped; Why not me?

Maddog: For one you're dead.

Morzan: Details. I want to be interviewed!

Maddog: Fine! Kwapi?

*Kwapi knocks Galby out with a stick*

Kwapi: Now, Morzan, get comfortable while Maddog and I throw him into the river.

Morzan: Works for me.

Maddog: Right! We will be back after a word from our sponsor!

Kwapi: What sponsor?


End file.
